There's no boss in our family, because no one person is in command of the rest. I tell my kids, "We don't have a boss, we are a team." Our family is a team that works together to make our household work. Mommy and Daddy are the team leaders, because we are the oldest and most experienced. As team leaders, we guide the kids and help them learn all about life. I add in here, when explaining this to the kids, that children need to do what their parents say (read: listening to your parents is not optional as a team member) because their parents, as team leaders, have been around a long time (a loooooong time, hee hee) and know what's best.
This approach is two fold.
One, it creates equality between Mom and Dad. Think about this: People will ask kids "Who is the boss in your family?". They answer, "Mommy". It makes sense, seeing as, statistically speaking, women do the lion's share of the household tasks that children would witness (cleaning, cooking, scheduling appointments, maintaining family ties, child care, extra curricular shuttle service, etc.). So why then is the answer "Mommy" met with snickers and giggles? Why is it funny to think that Mommy might be the boss? Just a little side track into the world of feminism. Take what you'd like from that. ;)
Creating equality in our family between my husband and I is important to me especially, because I'm a stay-at-home mom. I often talk to the kids about how Mommy and Daddy BOTH work. Daddy works at his job and makes the money that pays for our house and our food and all the things we need. Mommy works at the house and makes sure the house is maintained and clean, that we have clean clothes to wear and groceries in the house and good meals to eat. We are both team members, team leaders, and equals when it comes to running our household and raising our children.
Second, when we are all team members, we all work together towards a common goal (a happy life and smoothly running household). No one is in charge of anyone else. I don't want my kids to feel like they are subservient to me (or anyone, EVER). I want them to feel like they are a part of something special and awesome. That they are a member of a group (our family) that cares for them, will help them, expects big things of them both within the family and in life, and will always be there as their support system. You get this from a really amazing team. Not from a boss you are obliged to work for.
That's why in our family, there is no boss.
